SNOW: An Open Letter to People Panicking

PEOPLE OF BRITAIN: Congratulations on your recent delivery of Snow™! 

The photos you’ve been seeing, however, do not show a carved road in either Canada or Norway, they’re from from Japan. For one thing, those vehicles are driving on the left, and we don’t.

CLICK to embiggen
Actually, the northern end of Japan.

We do not have snow like that here in the Dominion of Canada, even though we do all live in igloos and get to work using dog-​​sleds.

Here’s some real information for you (thank you again, Inter-​​Net®):

The snowiest bits of North America:

  • 974.1” Thompson Pass, Alaska (just north of Valdez) in 1952 – 1953.
    • The Thompson Pass is very very very close to Alaska and kind of Canada but it’s marginally Canada in the same way that The Isle of Skye is only marginally Great Britain. 
  • 963” Mt. Copeland, British Columbia  (near Revelstoke) in 1971 – 1972. Maximum depth unknown.
    • This is deep in the east of British Columbia in the Rocky Mountains. Nearly Alberta. Rocks thrown from here could land in the next province.

The snowiest bits of Canada Proper (not a scientific or geographical term): 

  • Saguenay, Québèc had 342cm over 96 days. That’s snow-​​fall not ‘on the ground accumulation’, so it’s not quite what we want
  • St. John’s (we have two, but I think this is the one in Newfoundland) had 180cm of ‘on the ground accumulation’ on February 9, 2001, and that’s unusual for them.

The areas where one can be as free of snow as possible

  1. Victoria (just a short ferry ride from me, and is the Provincial political capital)
  2. Vancouver (just the end of the street from me and is the Provincial business capital)

PLUS you’ll notice that on that first page is a picture of the Japanese road you’ve seen claimed to be Canada, and another shot much like the ‘Norway’ one with the tour bus is just below that. Apparently they use “snow melting” techniques to dispose of the stuff from the roads.

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